Researchers say the impact is anywhere from as little as a two percent increase in most lifeforms, to as much as three quadrillion percent as severe in Republicans, based on observable behaviors and statements, not on any increased understanding as yet of the phenomenon itself.
You may remember the most recently-felt effects were triggered by -- or culminated in -- Uber-One-Percenter Willard Romney's selection of Teabagger Paul Ryan as a running mate.
"Depth and duration of symptoms really run the gamut in this thing," said Dr. Oliver Hellenbach, Verity Department Chair of the Astoot-Klevver Mind Institute, "from confusion of fact and fantasy, as we see in Romney, to the complete breakdown in reality seen in Ryan -- which fully explains the budget mirages of one, and the absolute inability of the other to keep his story straight."
Professor Helena Hann-Baskit, lead researcher at Kanni-Keene College's Brain Studies Division, adds, "Given the uptick of absurd anomalies in behavior spotted only in Republicans to date, it's obvious they are far more affected -- somehow more vulnerable to these unseen forces, whatever they may be -- than are regular human beings."
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