Timing's everything, crucial in humor. Once in a while, Life cooperates, makes slim allowances for fine coincidences -- as in a recent flurry of fun headlines. Maryland hosted a double-header: free roadside cash, and a stranded superhero by the side of the road, too.
First, 58-hundred bucks flew the coop from an armored truck cruising down I-270, when cash hit the road in two plastic bags, bursting apart when they splashed down, making the paper money fly and fly. A woman headed to work told AP: "It was in the traffic lanes and on the shoulders and just generally kind of like a snow globe of cash." Timing, all the way, for the 40 or so who pulled over, stopped to stoop and bend, scooping up bills lickety-split. The truck continued down the road. Police have a no-questions-asked, amnesty policy in place for any errant cash being turned in: so far, a hundred bucks -- good luck with that.
Then, earlier in the week, just coming to light now, police pulled over to give Batman a hand -- there he was, flat-tired, curbed, alongside the road, with the upgraded Batmobile: a black Lamborghini. The photos speak volumes, could be pictures of animals in the wild: a fully costumed, caped crusader, and the cops, half-encircling, keeping a wary, respectful distance.
Not quite done with us, Life throws us another bone for our jawing-and-guffawing, a quick chaw, here on a Sunday, church-day for so many. It's a great day to hear from two former employees from a nest of TBN televangelists, accusing that group of blowing millions of American dollars on 13 mansions, 100-thousand bucks on a mobile home just for one of the owner's dogs, and 50 million dollars on a luxury-outfitted, corporate jet. Oh, and if it counts, 8 million bucks on a personal jet, too.
When you are in a Zeus-sized, olympic swimming pool, overflowing with cash, paddling around, the question appears to be not one of "What would Jesus do," but, "Why the hell shouldn't I be able to buy that for myself -- and that and that and that and that and that, too?"
The photos are sublime of this pack of pack rats, these televangelists having so-closely shorn their sheep, so well fleeced their flock -- what a surprise! what, deja vu again for the 12th time? -- showing these funhouse crosses of Tammy Faye Bakker meets Dracula, now starring in "Gone with the Wind."
Here, on Sunday, we are supposed to remember televengelism is all about holiness and religion, it's all about charity and giving -- "No, really, it's not a business, it should be tax exempt, like they all are," someone says, poker-faced. It about's giving, all right -- just not about them giving back. Like always with One Percenters, it's a one-way street, everything heading straight for them, running away from all of us. The goal here, of course: Die with the most money and toys, after saying a hasty, "Oops! Sorry!" and go roaring straight into Heaven, in the express lane: Bingo! You win!
If you want more examples of largesse and massive over-reach, only to be nipped in the bud and brought down low, check out the March 19-25 issue of "Bloomberg Businessweek" (maybe up on their site later, but it's not, now), see: "The Siegels of Versailles." Holy crap, indeed!
And now, a little sanity and calm, mixed in with all the clanging notes: There's been a Reason Rally held on the mall in Washington, D.C.: Atheists, non-theists, secularists, and others willing to show up in the rain to proclaim they believe in reason, not any gods. It may seem to some like a flukey, light-hearted romp, but, it's really a breakthrough, and on many levels, too. Some surveys have shown some people trust convicted rapists over those who choose to choose no religion at all.
Nice crowd chant, led by the director of the United Coalition of Reason: "We're here, we're godless, get used to it!" Here, here.
Of course, the unspoken expectation is that critics will know the difference between religion and spirituality. But, many expect Americans to know the differences between and among all the -isms they spout off about blindly -- and, to chip in a little bit of wit, to also know the difference between ignorance and apathy, even between burro and burrow, besides. And, once again, good luck with that.
Bringing festivities to a close here, with a big finish and a small burst of a water-balloon bubble, is a final series of thoughts, explanations of political candidates using classic toys from the past -- link's down below. Happy weekend, indeed!
Armored car: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/crime-scene/post/motorists-scoop-up-armored-car-cash/2012/03/23/gIQAn6Y9VS_blog.html
Reason Rally: http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/atheists-others-to-gather-at-reason-rally/2012/03/23/gIQAvqY2WS_story.html
Classic toy political candidates: http://images.businessweek.com/slideshows/2012-03-22/presidential-candidates-explained-through-classic-toys#slide1
