Dang! As animal lovers, we already missed Duck-billed Platypus Day, on the second. The good news is we're in time for International Polar Bear Day, on the 27th. Cephalopod Awareness Day is still a long way off, though -- October the 8th, this year.
Avast! There's Talk Like a Pirate Day, days for equinoxes and solstices, phases of the moon, birthdays for countries and people, days to honor sacrifice and service, special days to be grateful for family and for love -- Oh! Special Safety Tip! Tuesday is Valentine's Day!
You forget this one, be ready to sleep under the car for a while, get ready for a few years of "Bittersweets," candy hearts from the sweet-tarted folks at Despair.com, whose satirical, candied heart-treats say things like, "No Fix 4 Dumb" and "Tradin' You In."
So many special days around, and so many of them just ditzy schemes to get after our cash on this or that day, for this or that reason. As shameless ploys and business schemes go, these are among the most harmless kind available anywhere -- far nicer than derivatives and stocks.
Meanwhile, if there's chocolate, cards, some cake, a few flowers, maybe a balloon, to try and airlift in fun and float out some sting, how can there be any real harm in any of this?
This weary old world needs as many reasons as can be possibly found to get us to hug and embrace, to find and appreciate love of all kinds, to have a time out to enjoy and honor all our own selves, so long as we're all here, in the land of the living, here in this life.
So what, if some nice days come along disguised as National Plywood Appreciation Week, or Year of the Marmot, or some glad tidings or other from the Lard Board or whatever, or Pancake Race Day, or even, a special Blessing of the Throats event? These pleasant days remain no less true, do not negate any good feelings we might have already had by then.
All these special occasions are fine -- even if most of them get turned into Special Blowout Furniture Sales, should you be in the mood for some blown-out furniture, now on sale!
If you're stumped which day to make really special, just for you, March 3rd is pretty open, but you'll have to share with If Pets Had Thumbs Day, something worth pondering a while.
Special days of remembrance are interesting critters to consider, when looking for insights on the human animal. Like statistics, what they reveal is as fascinating as what they conceal.
So much gets honored and positioned on the calendar -- meaningful things we are to stop and remember. But, where does all the other reality go? Where do we put on the calendar important things we should have learned from, so we won't keep doing them all over again? How will we keep track and remember criminal corporate events, key points when the dream started souring, to keep track of the calendar date when it all started to slip south on us?
Why not Shock and Awe Day on March 22, so we won't again bomb the bejesus out of people who had so far done us no wrong? Why isn't August 3rd PATCO Day, so we'd remember when a blow was struck at unions, when white phosphorous bombs were thrown at the middle class?
Why are there no dates remembering for us when astroturf marched like it was real, when the Tea Party was begun by the rich and powerful, to get the little people to cut their own throats, and to lobby on behalf of the same rich and powerful people who heated us all up so much damned hot water, who got everything artificially brewing along in the first place?
Why isn't there a BP and Exxon Oil Spills Hanging Committee Month, to remember the perpetual poisoning of the planet, just to save a few bucks? Nothing on the calendar, here, noting the Merry Massed Weeks of Rape and Pillage from the Big Banks, from down on Wall Street. No date on this calendar for When The Bastards Almost Pulled it All Down. Nothing here about...
Well, as it happens, the calendar's quite full as it is, chock full, right now, in fact. It's Multiple Personality Day, it's Be Nasty Day, it's International Panic Day, it's National Ear Muff Day, it's Everything You Think Is Wrong Day.
Unlike so much of life, all these special days are mostly all true, they are real, and are coming up for you, between right now, and those festive, carefree days, the Ides of March -- just one of twelve Ides we get, year after year, on every calendar, just like stuck clockworks.
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We could not help but notice, while rummaging around, attempting to locate a pleasant ending here, just for you, a nice one: I Want You To Be Happy Day is on March 3rd, looks like. It all yours, from us to you.
If that one seems too sentimental or mushy, here are some alternates:
March 11: Worship of Tools Day
March 20: Extraterrestrial Abduction Day
March 22: National Goof-Off Day
March 26: Make Up Your Own Holiday Day
If you are still so desperate as to be shopping away like mad, well, March 28th is, we kid you not even one iota, is Something on a Stick Day. One hopes it's not all downhill from there, on that particular calendar, and is actually much better than many of the ones used around here.
