Hard to tell what is satire or parody in this life, as it does such a smash-up job with its special sweet-sour mash-up all its own.  Life, poker-faced, says it's playing straight with us, dealing from the top of the deck.

We remain fantastically doubtful about that here.  When we absorb our daily ration of information, insipidness, and fear, via newspapers, we hold them up to the mirror and read everything from there. This way, we don't have to look the news in the eye, not directly at it. We avoid the Gorgon's gaze.  Plus, we are embarrassed for the news,  at all the sludge and drivel in there.  We handle newspapers with metal tongs, so we don't get any on us.

Car mirrors have legally insisted to all passengers and interested passersby, desperate for reading material, objects in mirror are closer than they appear.  They try to remind us, this nearly inconspicuous, almost invisible image in the view, that being seen smaller in there doesn't necessarily equate to being further away, out here.

No mirror so far observed carries warnings or alerts about smoke being wielded in there, by professionals sent to distract us by way of politicians, corporations, or religions, to name only a few possible sponsors sent to trick our looking and seeing, trying to put off our few visions with unending illusion.

Delayed broadcast, live, from the future, already in progress:

...elcome, welcome!  Is this working?  OK, thank you.  Hello, and welcome.  We are glad you made it. Please have a seat, we have plenty of room in the tent. We have water, if you need, and we're working on making soup, and doing the best we can, given what all's happened.

Ladies and gentlemen, hello and welcome to our shock-treatment triage-staging-area and initial re-adjustment center.  We are all volunteers, just mental health professionals doing what we can in this unforeseen emergency, joining along with so many of colleagues and peers all over the country right now.

We know you're angry, hurting, and confused -- you don't yet know who did this to you, how it happened, or even why.  We'll work through it all together in time.  We're here to make sure you get what you need or want.  You can leave anytime you like. You can go home anytime you want.

OK, if you're just coming in,  please know these feelings of anger and betrayal are normal and natural, at this early stage.  Later on, as you get well and get stronger, it will seem easier than it does now.  Some of you may continue to hear those old, familiar voices in the back of your mind -- but, that's just your mind, looking for some comfort of the kind you've been used to, and experiencing every day, for years and years.  All habits are difficult to break right away.

It's also normal and natural for you to miss those voices -- some of them were like family to many of you -- so it's OK to grieve, it's OK to let it all out, perfectly fine to cry it away, to let it get out, whenever you need.  Right now, know that it's OK, and it will get even better, more and more, every day.  Habits take time to build up, and they take time to wind down.

Today, with the announcement, right out of the blue, you've just been forced to go cold turkey -- your old habits have been ripped right away.

If you want a name of your disease to hang onto, well, you could say you've been trapped in a vast conspiracy and kidnapped, held hostage, held against your will by a cult so powerful and deeply ingrained in the fabric of our country and this world -- well, it's hard to know how to even describe them,  or know how to tally up all the crimes they committed!

But, it's all over now, and you have your freedom back.  That's the important thing. You're free again.  We'll all work together to make sure everyone's doing OK, here and now, and until any more and better help can arrive.

It's very important to realize, everybody, right now, please, that this is just us.  Just people, just everyday, regular people sitting in here.  We are all the same here, whoever we were before, and whoever we will decide to be now.

We all have the same story inside this tent, we all feel the same.  And, together, we will all of us help each other get through this big and sudden, and most surprising, and incredible change.

So, as we work to help deprogram each other, and find our way back to the truth, we may need to lean on each other -- sometimes as the leaners, sometimes as the supports.

It may take some time, getting used to thinking for yourself again, after all that time being told what to do, and how to feel, by all those cult leaders on radio and teevee.  The confusion you are now feeling is only withdrawal from all those people who did all your thinking for you.

It is normal and natural, and there is no cause for alarm.  Breathe in regularly -- deeply and slowly, from deep down in your gut, exhaling slowly and completely.  Know that everything will be OK, and pretty soon, at that.

In time, you will see how lucky we all really are -- that we've all been given an amazing, second chance for life and liberty, now that those talking heads can no longer do their lies and dirty work over our air.  Days of their smears and their mud-slinging are all done, gone forever!

So, breathe in, deeply, the fresh, new air of America, no longer tainted or made toxic by blowhard muckrakers preening their egos and cashing fat checks.  The filth and the foul dirt from these vainglorious creatures is finally illegal -- they've all been scrubbed from our air, the air we breathe, the broadcast air they poisoned for so long with their presence.

So, every single thing has changed now -- and, here we all are, at square one, together -- a new nation before us, one that'll be soaked only in truth and real facts, starting today.  We can now only be held hostage by our higher and best interests -- the way it should have been all along.  If it cannot be proven, now, it cannot be said over the air, nor anywhere our flag flies -- from now on, every single news and talk show has to tell us the truth!  It's the law!

This is our new law, all very sudden and startling.  In time, we may again discover truth, and justice, and the American way.

It's difficult for some of you to imagine, but, in time, you won't miss those crazy voices in your head, the ones from radio and teevee.

Right now, it's good to have something to hang onto as you go forward.  Here are some words that lay down bedrock, and may help you build stronger.  It's on the handout, let's try to say them together.

These are strange, devolutionary times, with moves underway to crank back the calendars and clocks to the 1800s and earlier.  One of the movements is to plant religion back inside public schools, to ensure that Creationism is taught alongside science.

We could also stand around in the parking lot, pretend to be running a competitive race with the rest of the world, too -- but, why bother with that?  We can do make-believe right inside schools, cut right to the chase!