... In other news, Yoosa (TM), the country formerly known as The United States of America, Amuhrikuh, 'Merica, 'Murricuh, and so on, was sold today to the highest bidder.
Never you mind who. It's none of your business.
Please report to the Reassignment Station in your neighborhood. Your new overlords want to give you a thorough looking-over, before they decide on an appropriate wholesale price for your ass.
Tune in every day at this time, on this device, for important news on your updated citizenship category status, family reassignment area by gender and age, food and sleep center assignment, voting recommendations, New World Service School announcements, and for information regarding your own zone-address of personal service and master's name, minimum length of service period, your brick-shitting quotas, and so forth.
Please do not take anything with you to your neighborhood Reassignment Station.
On Monday, August 6, 1945, after six months of intense firebombing of 67 other Japanese cities,...
In its 38 years of existence, the USA TODAY Editorial Board has never endorsed a candidate for president....
