Given Willard Romney's constant taste-testing of his own feet, he must have athlete's tongue by now -- unless he has a protecting coating in there from enzymes produced in perpetual flip-flopping and the steady mouth-and-truth-stretching exercises from his incessant lying.
At least Paul Ryan adds some balance to the ticket: When Willard is prevaricating, Paul can pick up the mantle of flat-out lying; when Paul is dissembling, Willard can maintain his forked tongue.
The two men must also be pro golfers, based on all the great lies they regularly produce with all their balls. And, as each man has at least one hole in his head, it appears they will be content to be scored as a hole in two.
In fact, there's so much manufacturing of reality out of whole cloth here, the candidates might be opening a mattress factory or, maybe, a sofa plant, so that their badly battered laurels can get plenty of rest.
With the industrial quantities of fabrication going on during the campaign, there should be plenty of Lie-O-Pedic box sets and more than enough Cray-Z-Boy recliners to meet declining demand.
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