You have to hand it to Willard Romney: Whenever he needs to make a clutch play, and reach right in and pull a rabbit out of his hat, he always reaches right in and confidently pulls out roadkill instead.
That big-eyed deer staring into the headlights at Willard's side, about to be figuratively mounted on history's grillwork, is Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin). He's the one who the fun-loving people on the Romney tour bus have dangled onto the roadway, in the lane of oncoming traffic, as new veep road sport.
Ryan, sporting his signature Eddie Munster haircut, is now the wan Number Two man on Romney's commodious, but small-sheeted roll call for veep. With Ryan now seated in a tight position behind Number One, there is both a sense of urgency and relief to a party plumbing the depths, and the outer limits, of exactly how much [self-censored] any country can take.
Here, we must rely on the inscrutable wisdom of one Sherlock Holmes to explain the inexplicable at this juncture in time and space: "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."
The only solution to the ongoing mystery of Republicans, and how they, as deniers of science and Evolution, are still able to walk mostly upright, is this: Our own universe has bisected another -- we are now receiving flickering leaks and bleed-throughs from that alternate plane, one we'll call Bizarro Universe for short.