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Alex Baer: Zombies on Parade

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Zombies on paradeWhat's with all the zombies?

There was the horrific recent tale of the Miami face-chewer's assault on a homeless man, of course, the attacker high on a line of mind-whacking, over-the-counter drugs nicknamed "bath salts," the packet sporting a label proclaiming "Cloud 9," despite inducing the zombie-like behavior.

It's like a bad Saturday Night Live spoof:  Zombie Salts -- for stupes who think methamphetamine use and production isn't quite poisonous, vicious, or destructive enough for users, innocent bystanders, the country and countryside, or for the people who get to clean up in their wake -- from hazmat crews to social services and medical workers!

There should be a matching update in horrific public service announcements, one to follow this new trend.  Instead of cracking that egg into a hot frying pan, perhaps one might catch the attention of zombie-users by showing a human brain being microwaved on high, blowing the door right off the oven.  Mind-blowing, right? Nah.  It'd probably only make this crud look too attractive.  Maybe a brain pierced, lanced, turning on a metal spit, over an open, blazing fire, perhaps periodically bathed in acid (the etching and disintegrating sort, not lysergic)...

You've probably seen the extended-series of booking photos taken of repeat meth offenders. The images bracket time, showing the life force being scraped and yanked from their bodies -- good thing we can't see their brains.  Users appear zombie-like, as if they've had the marrow sucked from inside all their bones as their bodily shells collapse.  It is shocking and stunning, even in our own jaded and over-exposed time.

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